God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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