Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
