I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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