Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
