be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
