Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
