What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
