I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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