Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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