He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
