The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
