Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
