You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
