biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
