I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
