She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
