My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize