I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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