is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
