Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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