you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
