Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize