Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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