Tell her she can't have a vagina
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
they need to just BURY HIM!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
