i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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