Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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