don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
