Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
