My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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