3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize
