Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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