so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
