Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
