Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
