yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
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We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
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I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.