Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
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Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
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I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT