If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
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Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
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Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee