do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
