I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
