We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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