I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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