If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I think I am morally bankrupt
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
