I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I could fuck to npr.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
