the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
