I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
