I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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