I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
