When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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