One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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