She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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