you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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