dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
