Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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