that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.