Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process