Just fell off a train. Bad.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I got inside last night via doggy door
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.