Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
