i jhust puked up my retainher.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
