oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
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It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
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I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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