Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
