Having a random hookup so left but love u
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize