Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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